Happy Valentine's Day

Phew - I made it through the 13th, but now today is the 14th.  I will say the same thing I said on Facebook: 

Even though this would have been our first Valentine's Day as husband and wife, I am thankful that we weren't a big Valentine's Day couple- all of these sappy commercials aren't doing me too much harm - we didn't need Hallmark to tell us when to be loving to each other. I enjoyed the random candle light dinners Joe would have ready for me when I got home.

Today's picture ... 

One of our engagement pictures, from the fall of 2010.  This is my Valentine's Day picture to you - even though my pinky didn't do what it was supposed to do!!  The love that we had has helped carry me through, and I've been thinking about my love tank - He isn't here filling it up anymore, but it is still full because of him; however, God's love fills my love tank up constantly - so it is absolutely overflowing.  If I didn't have God's love though, the levels of my tank would get dangerously low at times, and I wouldn't be able to function.  I'm thankful that you are reading this... and I hope you aren't just 'reading' it.  I hope you would take what I say both about the wonderful relationship Joe and I had and the wonderful relationship God and I have and think, live, be thankful, take life seriously.  

A fact about Sweet Pea in this 26th week - she is going to be passing up 14" long and 2 pounds soon!  She is able to inhale, exhale, and even cry!

Some notes from church this week...
     with my thoughts.
Never doubt in the dark what God has shown you in the light.
     I struggle with this because it is so easy to be emotionally brought down as the darkness of the night (and life) comes upon us... but God's light is still there.
Trials are not meant to destroy us but to develop us.
     Hard to believe, since trials feel like they are destroying us.
Faith is a moment by moment decision, not a feeling.
     It truly is  moment by moment - every moment of every moment!
Focus on the joy God gives us in spite of our circumstances.
     In spite of my circumstances, are you kidding me?! However, if I didn't have the unexplainable joy God gives me, I would be in a padded room with 24 hour surveillance.
Anything that drives you to God is a blessing from God.
     Seriously?  It is hard to see this as a blessing... but:
God didn't cause the terrible event, but he did allow it and he will bring us through the fire turning us into gold.
     As I am immersed in the hot burning flames of this trial, God is turning me into gold.
Trials are painful but if you are patient, God will bring relief.
     Patience ... what a hard gift to unwrap and use.
If I'm doing "ok," I'm not denying my feelings, but I can live in spite of my situation with God's joy.  The happiness of the world will repeatedly bring us slowly up a mountain and quickly down, just like a roller coaster (and the safety strap may even come undone), but God's joy is constant.
     This is an area I hold guilt in - When you ask me how I am doing and I say that I am OK, do you understand how I can be doing OK?  It comes from God's joy.  I feel guilty that I am doing OK, like I should be a complete wreck - being a pregnant fatherless widow at 29... I feel like I should lie to you, or that you will think I am a bad person for being "OK". 
You can live in avoidance or acceptance - when you accept, you will grow in ways you can't even imagine.
     Acceptance - what a gigantic thought... what if I don't want to accept this?
Trials increase our endurance - DON'T QUIT - if we endure, it opens the door for what God wants in our lives.
     hmmm... what GOD wants, not what I want.
God is most present when His children are suffering. 
     I can attest to this thought.
The harder the trial, the closer He moves toward us.
     Again, I can attest to this.
To resist a trial is simply to delay failure.
     If I was in denial, it would only make this harder later on.

When we are enrolled in Graduate level courses in Character Development with God, trials are the major tests............ 

Scripture to live on today...
And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.  Romans 8:28
I love the Lord because he hears my voice and my prayer for mercy.  Psalm 116:1
So the Lord blessed Job in the second half of his life even more than in the beginning.  Job 42:12
So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you and help you.  I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.  Isaiah 41:10