birthday cake

8/29/2010  >  Church St. apartment

Celebrating birthdays for Joe & Steph!

We went to the Gladiolus Day's parade as a family and then had strawberry dt. mountain dew cake! Joe and i had been engaged for 24 days, so we had probably just chosen our wedding date... Everyone was there - mom & dad, peg jake & kids, cindy bob & andrea, steph and frank - i think amy and her family might have even been there!  What a wonderful day to look back on.  Look at that sweet smile - not just a smile, but the head tilt and sweet eyes also - apparently someone else was taking a picture at the same time, since both of them are looking the other way.  This was another one of my old shirts that he took ownership of, of course it looked better on him since it was made for a man.  lujoe....

Sweet Pea is 33 weeks old, and she was celebrating today! Wow, she was really moving a lot all day - it started right away this morning and was pretty consistent for a few hours.  Then she must have napped, but was back at it this afternoon.  At one point in the day I laid back flat on the bed and my belly was shaped more like a steep mountain than a little hill, I think she was laying in there pushing her butt up!  It was so amazing to see - so crazy to think that there is a baby inside of me and pretty soon I will be able to hold her.  Funny, she must be able to tell that I am typing about her, she just now, as I am typing, got the hiccups!  My sweet little girl.  We had another shower today, very intimate with close girlfriends in Rochester.  It was a lovely day and we came away with lovely and thoughtful gifts.  We have 48 days to go till our due date, which is less days than we have been without daddy - that time has gone fast so I know these next few weeks will go by fast too.  My pregnancy app says she weighs a little over 4 pounds and has passed the 17 inch mark.  She is rapidly losing the wrinkly alien look and her skeleton is hardening.  She might grow an inch this week alone and her eyes are actually starting to stay open while she is awake!! Crazy, I wonder what it looks like in there!  She has been good to me - many people lately are saying that I don't look 7 1/2 months pregnant, and that I even look cute pregnant - wow, I enjoy keeping myself surrounded by positive people - thank you all!! :)

I love Ephesians...
Ephesians 3:16-21
Paul's Prayer for Spiritual Growth = my prayer for you: 
I pray that from his glorious, unlimited resources he will empower YOU with inner strength through his Spirit.  Then Christ will make his home in YOUR hearts as YOU trust in him.  YOUR roots will grow down into God's love and keep YOU strong.  And may YOU have the power to understand, as all God's people should, how wide, how long, how high and how deep his love is.  May YOU experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully.  Then YOU will be made complete will all the fullness of life and power that comes from God.  Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within US, to accomplish infinitely more than WE might ask or think.  Glory to him in the church and in Christ Jesus through all generations forever and ever!  Amen.

sneaky

4.16.2011  |  Mankato MN

These brothers loved to sing together!  We were in Mankato for Katie's birthday and snuck out for some sibling time.  Cari and I were rooting our boys on.  Not sure what they were singing - Kev, do you remember?  The only specific I remember is when I tried to sing "What's Up" (4 Non Blondes) but broke out in tears so Joe came up to help me finish.  (My dad proclaimed that our "family song" and we had lost him less than a month before this picture.)  When Joe and I started dating in 2006, he hated karaoke - then, he fell in love with it - then, he got others to fall in love with it... there are many of his friends (and family) that sing now that didn't sing before... l u joe.

It is going to be a great night at Celebrate Recovery.  We have a special guest, Cody James, coming to give his testimony and give a concert.  Free meal at 6, fun begins at 7!

How much does God love you? me? him? her?

Ephesians 1:4-8

Even before he made the world, God loved us and chose us in Christ to be holy and without fault in his eyes.  God decided in advance to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ.  This is what he wanted to do, and it gave him great pleasure.  So we praise God for the glorious grace he has poured out on us who belong to his dear Son.  He is so rich in kindness and grace that he purchased our freedom with the blood of his Son and forgave our sins.  He has showered his kindness on us, along with all wisdom and understanding.

repeat

2.10.11  +  Church Street Apartment 

He is munching on something, coming in to give me my goodbye kiss for the night, before he leaves for work.  Oh how I miss those kisses.  one on the cheek, one on the forehead, one on the lips - and perhaps, repeat.  His face looks really red, not sure why - weird.  One thing we were looking forward to doing together, and as a family, was weekend road trips - sightseeing from the book Weird Wisconsin, or traveling up into Northern Minnesota, or down into Iowa.  Sweet Pea and I will be doing that now - I wonder how early we can start?  perhaps this summer?  It would be fun to have pictures of her at Lambeau Field just months old - where mommy and daddy were on their honeymoon just a year earlier.  we will see :)  l u joe...


For today's scripture, I'm going to share a piece from the Old Testament, and then where this is fulfilled in the New Testament - it is super neat to read what was prophesied in the Old Testament and then read where it comes true in the New Testament.
We will study a prophecy made by Isaiah.

Isaiah 61:1-3 - prophecy -
The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is upon me, for the Lord has anointed me to bring good news to the poor.  He has sent me to comfort the brokenhearted and to proclaim that captives will be released and prisoners will be freed.  He has sent me to tell those who mourn that the time of the Lord's favor has come, and with it, the day of God's anger against their enemies.  To all who mourn in Israel, he will give a crown of beauty for ashes, a joyous blessing instead of mourning, festive praise instead of despair.  In their righteousness, they will be like great oaks that the Lord has planted for his own glory.
Luke 4:16-21 - fulfillment -
When he came to the village of Nazareth, his boyhood home, he went as usual to the synagogue on the Sabbath and stood up to read the Scriptures.  The scroll of Isaiah the prophet was handed to him.  He unrolled the scroll and found the place where this was written:

"The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, for he has anointed me to bring Good News to the poor.  He has sent me to proclaim that captives will be released, that the blind will see, that the oppressed will be set free, and that the time of the Lord's favor has come."

He rolled up the scroll, handed it back to the attendant, and sat down.  All eyes in the synagogue looked at him intently.  Then he began to speak to them.  "The Scripture you've just heard has been fulfilled this very day!"

rugby

Christmas 2010  |  Spur Lane

Here is my goofball... This was a little fur that my dad had, and Wesley thought it would be cute on Joe's head, so he posed for a picture :)  The shirt has a story too - it is mine, I had it since high school - remember when the rugby shirts were so in?  it is Old Navy, yeah it is sold as men's, but i think i pulled it off a couple of times... but it looked much better on him.

Remember what the first sin was?  The eating of the apple... Dang you, Eve!  God had a few things to say to the serpent (you will always have to crawl on your belly), to Adam (you will have to work the earth for food), and to Eve .... yowch:  "And he said to the woman, I will increase your trouble in pregnancy and your pain in giving birth...."  Genesis 3:16a  (Thanks Eve)

armor

how do you prepare for meeting evil each day?
i choose to use God's armor...

Ephesians 6:13-17 (Good News Translation)

So put on God's armor now! Then when the evil day comes, you will be able to resist the enemy's attacks; and after fighting to the end, you will still hold your ground.

So stand ready, with truth as a belt tight around your waist, with righteousness as your breastplate,and as your shoes the readiness to announce the Good News of peace. At all times carry faith as a shield; for with it you will be able to put out all the burning arrows shot by the Evil One. And accept salvation as a helmet, and the word of God as the sword which the Spirit gives you.  

12.9.09  |  Church Ave apt in St Charles

Here is my man, being the man, snowblowing after the big blizzard we were blessed with.  He was always a 'get it done' kind of guy, no matter what he was faced with... cleaning up this snow, putting in the new flooring, and getting a new lock on the garage door.  i'm glad we had the communication that we had - his most recent little project at our new house was the service door on our garage - it had obviously been broken into in the past and didn't latch.  so, the immediate fix was to affix a padlock, which we used the entire time; however, was a pain.  he had gotten a new nob to put on the door so we could just have a normal lock.  i remember him telling me that he had to give me one of the keys - so the project was half done, kevin finished it this weekend, and i found the keys and gave myself one.  i'm glad he didn't just keep to himself and not tell me about things like that... of course there are many things that i don't know what he was doing with in the garage, but i didn't need to know everything, he had a lot of projects and enjoyed keeping busy... but if it was something i needed to know, he was sure to let me know.  Heavenly Father, thank you for the time Joe and I had together, for our beautiful wedding and for our child you are knitting together in my womb. Amen

roll a boulder

Proverbs 26:27

If you set a trap for others,
    you will get caught in it yourself.
If you roll a boulder down on others,
    it will crush you instead.

Has this ever happened to you?  You tried to "get someone" but then it turned on you, and was worse off for you than the other person?  I know it has happened to me - and look, God knew we were going to do that, so he guided the author of this proverb and included it in the Old Testament!

 July 4, 2011  |  Buffalo City Park

We had been married less than a month, celebrating our first 4th of  July as husband and wife at the Buffalo City festivities... we had even driven the '53 over!  Here we are with our friend Cyndi.  This picture was just re-given to me - I remember seeing it right away, but then I forgot about it.  To tell you all the truth, I think my shock is wearing off and I'm realizing what has happened and how my life is now (I have lots of pictures of Joe and I up, and I get super happy thinking about how happy we are, then I realize he is gone, and I get super sad... or maybe I am just super happy because we were so happy?  or maybe my mind was making my heart think he would be coming back?) - or maybe it is just the pregnancy hormones making things worse - or maybe the one year anniversary of my dad's death - who knows, but it is getting harder to get out of sadness.  - or maybe that is because I'm not allowing God to fill me up as much as I was the first while - I think that is probably it, I was more intent right away - but now I have a "slow leak in my tire" as Pastor Rick would say.  I am still in the Word and praying daily, but not throughout the day as I used to.  but, maybe my mind is realizing that this is the way life is now, and i'm having a hard time being happy.    But, just because I am a Christian and living for God doesn't mean I'm never going to be sad or have hard times... i think i need to just accept that i'm going to be sad - my husband died tragically 2 months and 13 days ago, and my dad died tragically 1 year and 5 days ago - but at the same time, i know that i have a lot to be thankful for, and i am looking forward to the birth of our child and the new life that that will give me...  as you can see, my thoughts and emotions are jumping all over the place - i think combining grief and pregnancy will do that to a person... i'm not losing faith or hope, i know God has promised me great things to come, and that Jesus and the Holy Spirit are with me always, but instead of making it a daily process, I need to go back to a multiple-times-a-day process.  comprende?

worms

Sweet Pea and I had a good day today...
Started with sleeping in!  We woke up 25 minutes before church started, but was able to make it almost on time.  Then lunch at KFC with grandma Edith, Peggy, Wes, & Madi.  Then we all went to Spur Lane to dig out some flowers that mom wants at her new house, so then we went to her new house... We were digging a bit in the backyard and I learned that Wes and Madi do not like worms!  I have known that Wes only enjoys looking at them from a couple feet away, but I think this was my first interaction with Madi and worms... We found a tiny one - like an inch long - and I picked it up and just showed it at her and she screeeaaammed at me (funny if you know her and her screaming) and started to cry (then i felt bad)... Wes is sleeping over tonight and I get to take him to school tomorrow.  We spent some time playing together, then outside with his new friend (my neighbor that is just a couple days younger than him), now we are snuggling on the couch watching some tv getting ready to fall asleep.  Oh - plus a trip to Target in between, I needed milk, a step stool, and a ball for the kids to play with at my house!  Wes is preparing for Sweet Pea's arrival - he took one of the little teddy bears and put "her" in Sweet Pea's bouncer and turned the music on so she could sleep (he ended up naming her QT (cutie) but accidentally called her Sweet Pea a couple times), but now QT is up on the couch by us because she was crying and wanted to sleep by us... :-)

... this picture speaks for itself ...

man, i miss that guy

1 Corinthians 13:1-7

If I could speak all the languages of earth and of angels, but didn’t love others, I would only be a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. If I had the gift of prophecy, and if I understood all of God’s secret plans and possessed all knowledge, and if I had such faith that I could move mountains, but didn’t love others, I would be nothing. If I gave everything I have to the poor and even sacrificed my body, I could boast about it; but if I didn’t love others, I would have gained nothing.  Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.

yowch

12.31.2011  |  Steph & Frank's Wedding  |  Hayfield, MN

Today Joe's brother Kevin and his wife Cari were here all day and put together the crib, stroller, swing, bouncer, and did some other random but necessary things around the house... We got so much done in preparation for Sweet Pea's arrival, I had to post this family picture today.  This photo is such a treasure to me, and will be for our daughter as well.  Mommy and daddy 'holding' Sweet Pea.  I miss Joe so much, more and more each day.  Thankfully, Kevin and Cari had some videos from the summer of 2010 when we went out on the river... that was the first video I have seen of Joe, and it was much different than looking at pictures.  Seeing him move, smile, the wind blowing through his hair.  yowch, it was difficult. l u joe ...

i'm sad, but not afraid... Isaiah 41:10  "Don’t be afraid, for I am with you.  Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you and help you.  I will hold you up with my victorious right hand."

Here are photos of some of what was accomplished today:

 our snuggling chair, with our eagles watching over us.

 her resting and changing place.

her personalized mirror that is from grandma edith's childhood home.

Last night I enjoyed an amazing talk on forgiveness - Forgiveness is essential for spiritual health and freedom... it is the only way to stop the pain.  I learned that forgiveness is NOT forgetting ("forgive and forget" is crap ... you may forget, but did you actually forgive?), NOT excusing, and NOT tolerating.  Three questions: Have I accepted God's forgiveness?  Have I forgiven those who have hurt me?  Have I forgiven myself?  Forgiveness doesn't mean the feelings or emotions surrounding the situation are gone, but they won't stop us from growing.  "Do not repay evil for evil.  Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody.  If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone."  Romans 12:17-18 (NIV)   God knew/knows that it is difficult to forgive - we cannot do it on our own, but God can through us.  Maybe I need to ask God to forgive someone that has hurt me?  I will also pray for them, because they may not know how to live any other way... hurt people hurt people.  i know who i need to work on forgiving, do you?  (last night made me realize i have some forgiveness issues surrounding the two biggest trials of my life)  don't carry it around - they aren't suffering from it, only you are.

see you at PV tomorrow - i'll be at 10:45, but if you wish, you can go to 9:00!!  We are on the countdown to Easter.

a large jicama

Lake Superior  |  on the ferry from Bayfield, WI to Madeline Island

blogging is helping me get my thoughts and feelings out, but it is hard, too, looking at all of these fun times that we had, knowing there will be no new ones made - but i am so thankful that i have all of these memories and that we had such a great time together.  thirty-two weeks for sweet pea today!  only 5 weeks till full term, 8 until due date - i wonder how many until she is here?  reports say she weighs 3.75 pounds and is about 16.7 inches long - taking up a lot of space in my uterus, and i can feel it!  i'm gaining about a pound a week (yay) and roughly half of that goes right to my baby.  in fact, she will gain a third to half of her birth weight during the next seven weeks as she fattens up for survival outside the womb.  she has toenails, fingernails, and real hair!!  her skin is becoming soft and smooth as she plumps up in preparation for birth.  i have an appointment today, and if i get any different information specific to her, i will be sure to share!

I'm going to share today from Proverbs 23

when it comes to money... 4-5

Don’t wear yourself out trying to get rich.
    Be wise enough to know when to quit.

In the blink of an eye wealth disappears,
    for it will sprout wings
    and fly away like an eagle.

when it comes to parenting... 13-14

Don’t fail to discipline your children.
    They won’t die if you spank them.

Physical discipline
    may well save them from death.

when it comes to who you look up to... 17-18

Don’t envy sinners,
    but always continue to fear the Lord.

You will be rewarded for this;
    your hope will not be disappointed.

when it comes to your parents... 22-25

Listen to your father, who gave you life,
    and don’t despise your mother when she is old.

Get the truth and never sell it;
    also get wisdom, discipline, and good judgment.

The father of godly children has cause for joy.
    What a pleasure to have children who are wise.

So give your father and mother joy!
    May she who gave you birth be happy.

I know that there are people that do not believe the Bible pertains to us here today... If you believe that, you have not read the best parts of the Bible... The verses that you just read pertain to us today, and the verses below definitely do - it is a wake-up call, and it is so applicable to 2012.

29-35

Who has anguish? Who has sorrow?
    Who is always fighting? Who is always complaining?
    Who has unnecessary bruises? Who has bloodshot eyes?

It is the one who spends long hours in the taverns,
    trying out new drinks. 

 Don’t gaze at the wine, seeing how red it is,
    how it sparkles in the cup, how smoothly it goes down.

For in the end it bites like a poisonous snake;
    it stings like a viper.

You will see hallucinations,
    and you will say crazy things.

You will stagger like a sailor tossed at sea,
    clinging to a swaying mast.

And you will say, “They hit me, but I didn’t feel it.
    I didn’t even know it when they beat me up.
When will I wake up
    so I can look for another drink?”   

I can relate to this at certain times in my life, and I have definitely seen a lot of people go through this.  It sounds more like a regular old poem than Biblical words, doesn't it? 

Celebrate Recovery tonight, woohoo!

If you have never been there, you may be under the impression that it is basically for those struggling with chemical dependency.  Well, while there are some struggling with drugs and/or alcohol, there are many many people there that struggle with love, being in control, pride, relationships, brokenness, guilt, codependency, anger, and much more.  My opinion is, everyone struggles with something (but they may be in denial), and everyone can benefit from CR.  I started going to CR because I was broken and needed support, now, as I continue to attend and look at myself deeper, I notice other "character defects" or areas in my life that I struggle with that I also work on!  Free delicious meal at 6, large group at 7 (worship & speaker), small groups at 8 (CR 101 if it is your first time, and there are women's and men's groups for chemical dependency, hurts & hang-ups, and love & relationships), and dessert at 9.  Tonight's talk is on forgiveness, and is being given by Pastor Rick!  There is child care for little ones and great programming for K-5.

You are probably thinking about Easter - perhaps you are thinking about attending a church service?  I invite you to Pleasant Valley for Easter, services at 9 and 10:45 - "Titanic: an Easter Parable".  Dynamic children's programs also.

from pvwinona.com:

This year Easter will fall on the week of the 100 year anniversary of the sinking of the Titanic.  Just as Christ used the stories of his day to tell us what the Kingdom of God was like, we will use the story of Titanic as a lens through which to examine our own hearts.
It was supposed to be the pinnacle of human engineering and advancement in the world.  So great was their confidence in this achievement, that Titanic began to be known as the ship that could not be sunk even before she put to sea.  All classes of society would board the Titanic for her maiden voyage.  They would have vastly different life stories.  Some would be rich, some poor.  Some would have achieved much in life, others were hoping for a new start in America.
They would all have one thing in common: they were boarding a ship that would sink.

Our religious efforts, no matter how extensive, will eventually sink without the resurrected life of Jesus Christ.   May you find Him for the first time or rejoice yet again  as we celebrate the Savior of the world.   

gas?

Who is Jesus?
Jesus is...
God's Son
heir of all things
the person through whom God made the world
the radiance of God's glory
the exact representation of God's nature
the one who upholds all things by the word of God's power
the one who purified sins
sitting at the right hand of God
much better than the angels

Hebrews 1:1-4 (NASB)
God, after He spoke long ago tot he fathers in the prophets in many portions in many ways,

in these last days has spoken to us in His Son, whom He appointed heir of all things, through whom also He made the world.

And He is the radiance of His glory and the exact representation of His nature, and upholds all things by the word of His power.  When He had made purification of sins, He sat down at the right hand of the Majesty on high,

having become as much better than the angels, as He has inherited a more excellent name than they.

Yesterday went well for my family and I, and we got a lot accomplished that I am very thankful for.
I have my 32 week appointment tomorrow, and I'm looking forward to asking why it feels that Sweet Pea's foot is stuck in my rib...

 3.5.11  |  Ron & Joette's garage  |  Joe and the '53

Joe was so excited to finally get to work on this, and to be working on it with his dad.  He was even more excited when it was ready to be driven.  We took it to the Lakeview a few times last summer, and even took it up to Chippewa Falls for a Gillett picnic.  Funny story - we filled it up with gas in Chippewa before we headed home... When we got to about Merrick Park, it started sputtering, and we remembered that the gas gauge doesn't work! :-)  Joe swung the truck back and forth to shake the gas around so we could make it as far as possible.  We made it into Fountain City, right before the hill down into town - had we made it to the hill, we may have made it to Kwik Trip.  However, Joe's brother, Kevin, and his family, were right behind us, on their way home.  So, we both pulled over, Kev took Joe to KT and the rest is history.  So then, a few weeks later, I was driving the Cherokee to work and was running out of gas, thought I was cool weaving around to shake the gas up - when I got home and was all proud, he politely told me that it wouldn't do anything in the Cherokee, it just worked on the truck.  ... miss and love my Joe ... Thank you God for bringing us together and allowing me to become pregnant with our child so easily.  Amen.

one year without my dad

June 2010 (after Andrea's graduation)  |  VFW  |  Winona

This was one of the many very happy moments in my life, and I thank God for this memory.  My two men, singing karaoke together - what a perfect life!  I don't remember what song this was, but probably "Some Beach" or "You Never Call Me By My Name".  Dad also sang "My Ding-a-Ling," he loved being goofy.  I like looking at each of their stances, and seeing the difference in generational body language.  Joe was by my side every moment when we first lost dad, we stayed in Andrea's room at Cindy's house for at least two weeks, and then moved in with my mom until we bought our house in June.  In anticipation of this day, of course, I always imagined Joe being right by my side again, holding me in my sadness.  I never thought I could live without my dad, and then after losing him, I never thought I could live without Joe (crazy thing is, I told him that his last week here 'I need you even more since I don't have my dad'), but I can because I have God.  He is a father to the fatherless, which is me and my baby, and he is a protector of widows, which is me and my mom.  I miss them both so much and am so thankful that my mom, sisters, and I are going to be together all afternoon, hanging out and then having a nice supper - and may even see some of dad's siblings and my grandparents later.

inspirational scripture for times of sorrow

Psalm 34:18 ~ "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted, he rescues those whose spirits are crushed."

Psalm 147:3 ~ "He heals the brokenhearted and bandages their wounds."

Psalm 46:1 ~ "God is our refuge and strength, and ever-present help in trouble."

Matthew 5:4 ~ "Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted."

...turn your scars into stars...

monk's

10.22.2010  |  WI Dells  |  Monk's Bar & Grill

This was again during our trip to the Dells over 2010's MEA break and my birthday.  We wanted to find a neat place to eat, hopefully with entertainment.  Well, this place was a neat one to eat at, but there was no entertainment this night... bummer.  Of course we had a great time anyways.  We each took a picture of each other, but didn't get one of us together... see that smile on his face?  that is a real smile - i love his perfect cheeks, his crooked nose, his perfect lips, and his facial hair, his head hair looks cute in this picture too - i always loved when it looked a little messy and wasn't combed down perfectly - he did that for me once in a while too - we did that for each other... i didn't particularly enjoy straightening or curling my hair, i'd much rather put it in a pony tail, but i would do it for him.  we both wanted to make each other happy and proud.  speaking of proud, joe was so proud of what he had going in his life.  he left this world having accomplished much and grown up so much even in the time we were together.  he was a phenomenal employee at RTP, a super fun uncle, cousin, nephew, and grandson, a loving brother, an always-there-for-you friend, a caring son, a loving best friend of a husband, and already an enthusiastic father - oh, and a great singing partner.  :)

Hebrews 3:15

   “TODAY IF YOU HEAR HIS VOICE,
DO NOT HARDEN YOUR HEARTS" NASB

March 19th

March 19, 2011  |  the last day i spent with my dad (the greatest man i ever knew)  |  Spur Lane

In this picture is my dad, Joe, and Joe's dad.  Joe and I were in the midst of moving into the last house on Spur Lane, about to become neighbors to the greatest couple I ever knew (my parents).  You can see some furniture in the back of Joe's dad's truck, and we must have just gotten done unloading that trailer and they were putting the walls back on.  Last year, the 19th was on Saturday.  I remember we worked all day, and that night, mom and dad went to let a sister's dog out.  Joe and I left to go to Buffalo City, and I never saw my dad alive again.

Although the world is incredibly tough to live in (which reminds us that this is not our home), we are told in Hebrews 1:12: "But you'll stay the same, year after year; you'll never fade, you'll never wear out." (The Message)  Of course the "you" is God.  Everything we go through, God is right by our side ready to help us heal. 

Have a good day, God bless you.

milking cows

10.2.2010  |  Ferguson's  |  Galesville, WI

We went to the pumpkin patch and apple orchard with Joe's parents and his brother Kevin and his family.  I'm not sure how many of you know or realize(d) how much fun Joe liked to have, and the silly things he enjoyed doing.  Yeah, yeah, maybe I put him up to some of it, but he enjoyed it with a smile.  We did a lot of fun, random things, and there are many memories from here to Mankato, here to Eau Claire, here to the Dells, in Buffalo City, in Saint Charles, in Rochester, and even from here to Virginia.  Today I was reminded of one place we would always stop at - the Nelson Cheese Factory.  We would get a back of dill or garlic cheese curds and each get an ice cream cone.  Once we even bought a bottle of Riesling on our way to the cities for a mini-vacation.

Sweet Pea is moving and stretching all the time, what a glorious feeling.  We got another car load of awesome gifts today at a shower with my John Marshall family.  She isn't really going to be in need of much for quite a while!  Statistics say she is about 16 inches and 4 pounds at this point - wow, a real baby!!  I can't wait until she gets here!  I'm really excited to try out this parenting thing.

Pastor Rick's message today focused around Mark 12:28-34, but I'm focusing on only through 31: 
One of the teachers of religious law was standing there listening to the debate. He realized that Jesus had answered well, so he asked, “Of all the commandments, which is the most important?”

 Jesus replied, “The most important commandment is this: ‘Listen, O Israel! The LORD our God is the one and only LORD. And you must love the LORD your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength.  The second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.  No other commandment is greater than these.”

I learned that I cannot truly love unconditionally if God isn't in me to love through me. The commandment is to love with all of our heart, soul, mind, and strength - that is a big deal, and we cannot do that without God's help.  As we draw nearer to God, he comes nearer to us.  And, unless I am communicating with God, I will not know what he is saying.  From today's message, I gained insight on how to do this:  have commitments to relentless prayer, to living out God's Word, and to life-giving relationships.  If we say we love God, but we hate those around us, we are lying.  If we can't love people (which we can see) how can we love God (which we cannot see).  Loving people is an extension of loving God.  My new slogan I'm going to try to live by (which means I have to allow God to fill me up with love) "You matter to God; therefore, you matter to me."

Deuteronomy 6:4-9  is where Jesus is quoting from (God) in Mark:

“Listen, O Israel! The LORD is our God, the LORD alone.  And you must love the LORD your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your strength. And you must commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these commands that I am giving you today. Repeat them again and again to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up. Tie them to your hands and wear them on your forehead as reminders. Write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.  

I'm excited to teach Sweet Pea about this love. 

I write these things to you so you can see what God has done and is doing for me (equipping me to live a life filled with love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control ... even as a fatherless widow) and I want to share it with you.

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

the verse of the day was given to me by a friend that is a new believer, inscribed on a little cross - I think it is a beautiful verse, and I tell God this often.

Psalm 119:105

"Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path."
How can I get up each day and continue on with life? because of the words God has given us in the Bible.  the promises are especially wonderful.

 Happy St. Patrick's Day!

These are from last year, March 12 - crazy to see that we had our winter coats on.  Anyways, there was, of course, a shelf of St. Patrick's Day fun stuff at ShopKo.  This was as far as we went, putting it on each for a picture, we didn't purchase it though - "Just something else to lay around," Joe would say.  And you can see, he wasn't even that thrilled about getting his picture taken in the hat.. hahah.  I want to take a moment to talk about the coat he is wearing too.  It is real nice, down filled, I think it may be St. John's Bay brand.  Anyways, he loved it, it was his good winter coat (besides his snowmobile one), he and my mom had both patched a couple cigarette burn holes in it a couple times, and when I started to get big this winter, it was the most comfortable coat around.  However, he hated how I looked in it.  I love that he had an opinion, and didn't just let me even though he thought I looked like a big puff ball.  And, of course, I wanted to be the wife he wanted to show off, not that he was embarrassed of.  So, one day I wanted to put it on, and I was like, "Where is that coat??" and he simply said, "I put it away! You don't need to wear it!"  It is still in the closet where he put it, but I assure you, I will wear it again some day. 
A reader today told me that she is unsure if she has even as many pictures of her and her husband as I have posted thus far, and they have been married at least 25 years.  That makes me sad - take pictures, people!!!  I treasure all of these pictures that I have, and regret letting one of my students borrow my camera for yearbook class this fall, so I am missing pictures from October on... 

Church @ Pleasant Valley tomorrow, 9 or 10:45 - I will be at the 10:45! Hope to see you there.

hopeless end or endless hope?

I'm posting extra tonight after the awesome party I go to on Friday nights at church.

Simply put, life without Christ is a hopeless end; with him it is an endless hope.

I'm quoting the Celebrate Recovery Bible (2007), but I'm not going to put in a formal citation, sorry English teachers - I'm quoting from page 1628, page 2 of the "Hope" devotional.

I'm quoting what I'm quoting because I realized I don't think I ever told you how you could receive the hope, peace, joy, love, etc. from God that I have.

"Hebrews 11:1 defines faith for us: 'Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.'  We can't find salvation through intellectual understanding, monetary gifts, good works or church attendance.  No!  The only way to salvation is described in Romans 10:9: 'If you confess with your mouth, 'Jesus is Lord,' and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.'  All we need is a little faith to begin the journey of freedom from our hurts, hang-ups, and habits.  Faith - even faith the size of a tiny mustard seed (see Matthew 17:20 below) - is the only avenue to salvation and freedom.  When we put whatever degree of faith we have in Jesus, he promises that our lives will be changed.  We'll find the hope for which we've been searching in the only Higher Power, Jesus Christ.  His Spirit will come with supernatural power and move into our hearts."

Matthew 17:20 (NIV) "He replied, 'Because you have so little faith.  I tell yout he truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there and it will move.  Nothing will be impossible for you.'"

God Bless You

pineapples?

ok, i'm on a wedding kick, and i wish my bra strap wasn't showing in this picture, but it is such an awesome picture!  i look at this and think, "wow, look at how much he loved me" (yeah, maybe i am bragging just a bit, but it is so very precious to me) - i'm pretty sure we were singing to each other - i don't remember exactly which song it was, i have some ideas - but those of you that were there, let me know if you have ideas. 

only 9 weeks to go, our little baby girl gillett is the size of a pineapple now!  she was moving so much today my mom and cindy could see my belly bouncing around!

here is a picture of me from about 10 minutes ago:

This verse is amazing to me, and gives me peace:
"Now God says he will accept and acquit us - declare us 'not guilty' - if we trust Jesus Christ to take away our sins." ~ Romans 3:22 TLB

the man and his mob

wow i'm tired. phew! this may be a tired from sleeping too much, or is it normal to be so so very tired since i am almost 31 weeks preggo?

anyhow, got to spend some unexpected time with the kiddos today, was walking towards the check out at  wal-mart with my basket of cereal, cookies, and (of course) a onesie, when i heard wesley's precious voice, "MANDA!"  so, i walked around the store for a bit with them before leaving.

had a great time at the Hebrews Bible study tonight too.  i haven't shared from Jesus Calling in a while, so that is what you get tonight.  remember the author writes these devotionals as Jesus is speaking to us... "There is immense hidden treasure to be found through listening to Me.  Though I pour out blessings upon you always, some of My richest blessings have to be actively sought.  I love to reveal Myself to you, and your seeking heart opens you up to receive more of My disclosure.  Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you."  From yesterday, "It is through spending time with Me that you realize how wide and long and high and deep is My Love for you."  It stinks that it took losing the two most important men in my life to realize this, but even through tragedy and unexpected (hated) life changes, I can feel God's love.  Strange, but when we go through crap like this (trials, if you will), we are brought closer to God.  From the day before yesterday, "As you sit quietly in My Presence, I shine Peace into your troubled mind and heart.  Little by little, you are freed from earthly shackles and lifted up above your circumstances.  Rest in My Presence, receiving Joy that no one can take away from you."

Matthew 7:7: "Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you."

Ephesians 3:17-19: "Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong. And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God."

John 16:33: "I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world."

John 16:22: "So you have sorrow now, but I will see you again; then you will rejoice, and no one can rob you of that joy."

I love this picture.  First of all, Joe is absolutely gorgeous - and it means so much to me that he did his hair just for me - he left his beard and gelled his hair! :-)  I found those sunglasses too, thankfully - I was hoping they would turn up.  Second, it is like "the man and his mob" His best man and two of his groomsmen (the third must have been tending to his children :-)). oh, how i wish i could feel that beard scratch my face again, or even shave his neck!  i hated that job, but i would give almost anything to do that right now.  ladies, if your husband asks you to do things you don't particularly care for, do it with love - he trusts you enough to ask you to do it, and you will cherish those memories.  i often had to wash his neck too - working at RTP he got so dirty, and it was hard for him to get all the way around his neck.  it may be two months past already, but i still can't believe he is gone... i miss him so so very much.  and the 21st will be one year since my dad's passing, so it is doubling up on me right now, plus with pregnancy hormones... well, i'm sure you can just imagine what i look like right now as i am typing this.

Good Night and God Bless

bicycles

well, i slipped into "it's not fair" mode and got real sad and angry tonight.

two specific reasons for tonight -
i miss shopping together.  we always stayed together, only went separate ways in a store if we were short on time and each took a couple things off the list to get.  and we always went together - i would go to auto zone with him, and he would go to victoria's secret with me.  we hated when we got separated in a store, like one of us was a little kid "don't walk away from me!"  not in a controlling way, but like we were lost without each other.
i miss bike riding together.  he got a bike from the city wide put-your-trash-on-the-curb day in st. charles a year or two ago.  it is pretty sweet looking.  we would bike just for exercise, or we would bike to Mike's (the grocery store) to rent a movie, or The Oasis (like The Lakeview) for an ice cream cone.  i remember once we biked out of town until we hit gravel and then decided it would be best if we turned back, because the wheels on joe's bike are really narrow, and he was slipping.

the dancing may have been fake - but the smiles, happiness, and love sure were not. 

this was the happiest day of my life.  (probably his too, if i might say so myself.)

I'm going to leave you today with the eight recovery principles and their beatitudes:

1.  Realize I am not God.  I admit that I am powerless to control my tendency to do the wrong thing and that my life is unmanageable.

"Happy are those who know they are spiritually poor." Matthew 5:3

2.  Earnestly believe that God exists, that I matter to him, and that He has the power to help me recover.  

"Happy are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted." Matthew 5:4

3.  Consciously commit all my life and will to Christ's care and control.

"Happy are the meek." Matthew 5:5

4.  Openly examine and confess my faults to myself, to God, and to someone I trust.

"Happy are the pure in heart." Matthew 5:8

5.  Voluntarily submit to every change God wants to make in my life and humbly ask Him to remove my character defects.

"Happy are those whose greatest desire is to do what God requires." Matthew 5:6

6.  Evaluate all my relationships.  Offer forgiveness to those who have hurt me and make amends for harm I've done to others, except when to do so would harm them or others.

"Happy are the merciful." Matthew 5:7

"Happy are the peacemakers." Matthew 5:9

7.  Reserve a daily time with God for self-examination, Bible reading, and prayer in order to know God and His will for my life and to gain the power to follow His will.

8.  Yield myself to God to be used to bring this Good News to others, both by my example and by my words.

"Happy are those who are persecuted because they do what God requires." Matthew 5:10