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... this is the story of the last day - it tells of phone calls, time in the hospital, and time at the funeral home ... be cautious in reading ...

Today is Friday the 13th. I'm not superstitious, but I like to expose my students to all different kinds of ideas that people have, so I prepared a short powerpoint from the web and newspaper to share with them.  Joe called this morning on the way to work, he is super excited about going snowmobiling - I warned him that the trails aren't even open yet, but he said that he is just going to scoot around Buffalo City a bit... so I'm not worried.  At about 1:00 I thought about calling him, but then something else came up, or someone came into my office... At the end of the day, around 3:15, I sent him a quick "I love you" text, since I hadn't talked to him all day and I was kind of wondering if he was still snowmobiling or home in bed.  I packed up my goodies and headed to the office to update my sub folder since I am going to be gone Monday for Sweet Pea's appointment.
My phone rang, and it was Jamie - strange, I wonder why she is calling me at this time of the day since I know she is still at work.  She wondered if I had heard from Tom (who Joe was with) or Jill (Tom's girlfriend), she said that Joe was in a snowmobile accident.  Luckily, there was a connection and Jamie heard about it and called me.  It probably isn't that serious though, I will just start heading home and call Jill to find out what is going on.  There were many calls between Jill and I during the next half hour, she was there telling me what was going on - Soon I find out it is more serious than I thought, and that they may be flying him to Rochester or LaCrosse... So I decided to just park downtown Rochester instead of starting to drive home and then finding out he was being flown to Rochester... but what if they flew him to LaCrosse instead? I am so distraught I don't know what to do, and I have been trying to get ahold of Steph so she could sit with me while I wait to hear what is going on.
In the mean time, I have also been talking with Cindy, and she said she would go to the hospital and wait for the ambulance so she could let me know what their decision was, since no one else seemed to know (Jill had also been asking the police and EMTs, but no one seemed to know what they were going to do).
After Steph got to my car, we decided to head to Winona.  We were on 2nd Street downtown when Steph and Cindy were on the phone, and Cindy was telling us to pull over.  I was shaking and screaming for her to just tell me what was going on.  Finally, Steph handed the phone to me and Cindy said that the doctor wanted to talk to me, and asked if that was ok.  Dr. Schubert came on the phone, clarified my identity, and told me that Joe didn't make it.
ummm...
what?
are you kidding me?
i thought he was going to have a broken leg or two, or maybe lots of broken bones - but still be living.
It was about 4:15 and Steph and I headed to Winona.
Cindy said that my whole family was at the hospital and that Ron and Joette were almost there as well - I wasn't sure if I wanted to go to the hospital, not sure if I could look at him... I was told earlier that when he was barely breathing and his face was very ashy in color.  I sure didn't want to see him like that, I thought I might drop dead of a broken heart right then and there.  I had an hour to think about it, and I changed my mind - I decided I would go to the hospital, but was still unsure if I wanted to see him.
While at the hospital, being hugged by the adult men in my life with them trembling, really makes me realize what just happened.  Both Pastor Rick and Pastor Joe were there as well, being just as loving and comforting as they were 10 months ago when we were in shock of losing my dad.  The hospital chaplain was there as well, bless her heart, but I didn't have any time for her... not knowing her from Adam, as my dad would say.  She told me that Joe looked just fine, that he just looked like he was sleeping.
OK, so I needed to see him now.
How could I not?
I wanted to stay with him... not leave him there in that cold ER room with all these people that he didn't know.  He was so cold from laying in the snow.  I just wanted to warm him up.
We all sat around him and cried, for many, many moments.  I picked up his cold stiff hand and put it on my belly... He was so cold.  He still had a breathing tube thing in his mouth too, and little green specks of paint on his face and in his hair from his helmet.  Not a scratch to be seen... His upper arms were broken though, so I could see a little swelling and bruising there.  The nurse offered me to see the scratches on his chest (all that he had), but I politely declined.  I wanted to take his wedding ring off, but I couldn't get it over his cold bent finger, so the nurse took it off.  I needed his earrings too - she took those off for me as well, and I am still wearing them.
There were three or four Winona Health bags with his clothes in them, I dug through that to take his phone and wallet.  His wallet is still in my purse, but his phone is now tucked away.  The front of his coat was all torn up, really made me sad, thinking of what he went through.  When I was finally ready to leave him, I felt this peace surrounding me as we walked out to my Jeep - God was telling me that everything would be OK.
We went straight to my mom's house, where we would stay for a couple weeks.  I can still see him laying on that bed, as if it were yesterday.  In the next few days I had the opportunity to see his body again, while the funeral home was getting him ready - at least then the tube wasn't in his mouth.  However, after the hospital took everything from his body that he had graciously donated and before the funeral home was finished working on him, I could really tell that his eyes were not behind his eye lids anymore... one corner of his mouth was kind of drooping... I was very particular with the funeral home in what I thought wasn't right yet - they assured me that they were not finished working with his body, but they wanted his family to be able to see him prior to his viewing.
He was my Joe, and I needed to have him looking as perfect as can be when all of his friends and family came to say their final goodbyes.
I had them take his thumbprint, and now have a charm with his thumbprint on the same loop as the charm that says "Forever My Love" on the bracelet he gave me for Christmas, and a charm with my dad's thumbprint on the loop to the left.  I also have a heart-shaped charm with his thumbprint on a pink leather cord for our daughter.  I also have a clipping of his hair, I loved his hair.  At this point, I don't think I knew where his hat was - I knew he had it on, and I wanted it - needed it.  It was his favorite hat, had been for about three years.  Some thought it was perhaps in the compartment on his snowmobile, that he wouldn't have worn it under his helmet.  I knew better, I knew that he would have been wearing it under his helmet ... Sure enough- it was in his helmet.  That is still in my coat pocket, but the smell of him is fading away.

Mark 11:24-26

"Whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.  And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins."