steak and taters

i never got my steak and baked potatoes dinner that Joe planned for us to have on 1.13.12 ... the steaks are still in the freezer, but i just threw the 2 potatoes out the other day... there are still some frozen veggies in the freezer though, i should probably eat those.

yesterday and today were rather overwhelming, but the garage sale went very well.  i had a handful of joe's work shirts and pants out, thinking i'd be just fine - after i sold 2 pair, the tears came.  they continued intermittently throughout the day today.. they come easier after being really tired and being around a lot of people.  i did get to leave and go to a celebrate recovery event for a couple hours, that helped put my life back into perspective.  afterwards, i spent a bit of time at the cemetery, pouring my heart out.  and now, i'm going to enjoy some alone time with my bump. :-)

at the celebrate recovery event i got to hear an amazing testimony of what God has given to one woman who has been through some terrible life events... her talk was great, and i'm going to share some of the scripture she shared with us.

How I feel sometimes:

Psalm 55:1-8

Listen to my prayer, O God.
    Do not ignore my cry for help!

Please listen and answer me,
    for I am overwhelmed by my troubles.

My enemies shout at me,
    making loud and wicked threats.
They bring trouble on me
    and angrily hunt me down. 

My heart pounds in my chest.
    The terror of death assaults me^.

Fear and trembling overwhelm me,
    and I can’t stop shaking.

Oh, that I had wings like a dove;
    then I would fly away and rest!

I would fly far away
    to the quiet of the wilderness.

How quickly I would escape—
    far from this wild storm of hatred.

What I remember when I get angry for MY husband being taken away from me:
1 Chronicles 29:11 ~ "Yours, O Lord, is the greatness, the power, the glory, the victory, and the majesty. Everything in the heavens and on earth is yours, O Lord, and this is your kingdom. We adore you as the one who is over all things."  He was not MINE - he is God's - he was given to me for five and a half wonderful years to love, to love me back, and to create a child with me...

I need to keep in mind:
Romans 8:28 ~ "And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them." Good things WILL come.

New year's - January 1, 2010.  There is the hat that is in my pocket... Forever My Love.