sinking

Have you ever heard God called I Am?  This used to be a bit confusing to me, but it simply means he is whatever you need, wherever you need, whenever you need it... If you believe that God is great enough to create and rule the universe, then why wouldn't you believe he rules your life?  He is not too big to be small enough for each of us and our problems.

... the cruelest world ...
... the coldest heart ...
these are places where grace is, soon to be so amazing...
when anything that is shattered is laid before the Lord it will not be unredeemed...
you never know the miracles the Father has in store...
(excerpts from a Selah song)

why do bad things happen to good people?  to conform us into pictures of Jesus... our trials are momentary (moments are not always the same length) and purposeful.

Have you heard the hymn "It is Well With My Soul"? 
Horatio Spafford wrote this song in 1873 after his four daughters drowned on a family trip across the Atlantic to Europe.  His son had recently died from scarlet fever, and much of their property had been destroyed by the great Chicago Fire.  Horatio and his wife decided to take the family away on a vacation to Europe.  At the last minute, Horatio had to stay behind for business but wanted his wife and daughters to continue on without him.  The ship sunk in 12 minutes, killing over 200 people - including Horatio's four daughters; however, his wife survived.  After hearing of the news, Horatio left as soon as possible for Europe.  As the ship he was on passed over the spot of the disaster, he went to his bunk and wrote this hymn.
Take a listen and read the lyrics:

When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say,
It is well, it is well, with my soul. 

It is well, with my soul,
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
Let this blest assurance control,
That Christ has regarded my helpless estate,
And hath shed His own blood for my soul. 

It is well, with my soul,
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, it is well, with my soul. 

My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!
My sin, not in part but the whole,
Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul! 

It is well, with my soul,
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, it is well, with my soul. 

And Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight,
The clouds be rolled back as a scroll;
The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,
Even so, it is well with my soul. 

It is well, with my soul,
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

Whatever is going on in your life, is it well with your soul?

Matthew 14:2-32

But Jesus immediately said to them: “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.”

“Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.”
“Come,” he said.
   Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!”
 Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?”
 And when they climbed into the boat, the wind died down. Then those who were in the boat worshiped him, saying, “Truly you are the Son of God.”

So, Peter began out of the boat with faith.... He then looked down - felt the wind, saw the water, and lost faith - began to sink.  He had three choices - turn around and ask for help from those with his boat, try to keep himself afloat with his own strength, or call out to God.  He called out to God, and was saved.  When we go through a trial, we may trust God for a while and then as the world gets tougher and tougher, and we see the happenings around us and start to sink away from God - how do we heal?  Do we ask help from other people and their strength?  Do we try to get ourselves through the trial with our own strength?  Do we cry out to Jesus and the strength of God to help us out?  There is only one answer that will truly help you heal.  

Lord, you have got to be here with me because I can not do this on my own.

One of my trials:

adjusting after the untimely, tragic death of my husband...

what is a husband?     mate     partner     best friend     confidant     smile maker     dream sharer     lover     and so much more - I think I listed many things Joe was to me in a very early post.  I no longer have my earthly husband...  The only way I can get through this is with God - not by your strength and not by my own strength.

June 18, 2011     .     2:02pm     .     me being given away to the man that was about to make himself my husband........ and be the greatest husband for five days shy of seven months.  The lighting isn't that great in this picture - but I love looking at his smile - that is not fake, and looking back I'm not sure if at that moment I knew how truly happy he was ... I definitely know now.