We were pregnant with our little bambino here and didn't even know it! The red eyes are unfortunate, but here I am with two of my special people - Karen and Joe - on the other side of the table was Mom, Cindy, and Jamie. It is going to take me a lot longer to get back into singing after losing Joe - it took me quite a while after losing my dad, but Joe helped me get back into it - he would sing with me, hold my hand, or at least stand by me... Once in Mankato I tried to sing "What's Up" by 4NonBlondes, which my dad had dubbed our 'family song' - not sure why, so I always sang it for him/us - I didn't make it very far before I was blubbering - Joe came up and grabbed a second mic and helped me through it. It is really tough now - When I lost the #1 guy in my life, my dad, I still had Joe there to hold me up - now he is gone too... I feel pretty dang lost sometimes - many times - now that they are both gone. Yesterday was my parents' anniversary, would have been 44 years. My cousin Jamie got married yesterday too, pretty exciting. I think I avoided mentioning my parents anniversary yesterday because our anniversary will be here quicker than you know it too - June 18 - would have been our first anniversary - we didn't even make it one year... who wants to eat the top of my wedding cake with me on that day? Jamie's reception is the 16th - so I will have something to do that weekend, but it will be bittersweet - so happy for Jamie and Chet, but so sad that my anniversary didn't happen - plus, we were going to have a full reception around that weekend too, since our ceremony was private and we wanted to be able to celebrate with all of our friends... Besides my family, God is helping me out of my lonely times... Of course, I cannot see him sitting here and He can't physically hold me or hug me, but I can definitely feel His presence. This may seem absurd or unexplainable to you if you don't believe or have a relationship with Christ, but it is so very possible- but, it is also unexplainable... there is no way to explain the love, peace, hope, joy, that I get from God. I know that he causes everything to work together for good for those that love Him (Romans 8:28), and I know that He has promises and blessing for me and my future. As long as I stay faithful and keep my eyes set on Him, I know that my life will be abundantly filled by God - the true meaning of the word abundant is actually "more than enough" - so that is pretty dang exciting. Even just typing this out gives me shivers and I can feel the joy reenter me... I've had a rough few days, and reminding myself of this and filling myself up with God's love can put me back into focus of the future.
One of the many amazing attributes of God is that he is caring, here are two scripture verses describing this:
Psalm 55:16-19, 22
But I will call on God,
and the Lord will rescue me.
Morning, noon, and night
I cry out in my distress,
and the Lord hears my voice.
He ransoms me and keeps me safe
from the battle waged against me,
though many still oppose me.
God, who has ruled forever,
will hear me and humble them.
For my enemies refuse to change their ways;
they do not fear God.
Give your burdens to the Lord,
and he will take care of you. He will not permit the godly to slip and fall.
Psalm 107:13-15
“Lord, help!” they cried in their trouble,
and he saved them from their distress.
He led them from the darkness and deepest gloom;
he snapped their chains.
Let them praise the Lord for his great love
and for the wonderful things he has done for them.
Pretty amazing, right? When I call on God, He rescues me - morning, noon, and night. When I give my burdens to God, He takes care of me. When I cry to Him in my trouble, He saves me from my distress - leading me out of my deepest darkest gloom - and I praise Him for the great love He gives and for what He has done for me. I say "when" because of course I am not perfect, and I do fall into mini pity parties now and then, but I feel like crap afterwards and feel so much better when I give it all to God for Him to take care of for me. You can have this too - You can pray a simple prayer to let Jesus into your heart and decide to change your life and live for Him - ask questions - I or any Christian you know would be very happy to help you with any questions you have. If you need and want Jesus in your life, you can pray this simple prayer:
Dear God, I know that I am a sinner and need forgiveness. I believe that Jesus Christ shed His precious blood and died for my sin. I am willing to turn from sin. I invite Christ into my heart and life as my personal Saviour. Amen
After you pray this prayer, you need to find someone who can help you dig deeper into this - God made us human and gave us emotions so we can form friendships and fellowship with each other - it is our duty to disciple each other. Many churches have programs for this, I am sure; however, the only one I know of for sure is at Pleasant Valley. We have a program for helping one another in this process. You can get paired with someone who is pretty mature in their walk with Christ and they can take you through a Bible Study to help you become more mature, and then you would do the same with another new Christian! Let me know if you need more details, I would be more than happy to help.
No comments:
Post a Comment