if i could turn back time

well, it is the last day of this month - i can't believe it. it has been 2 1/2 weeks, and tomorrow i will start my very first whole month without the love of my life... i am so thankful that i got to spend the best years of my life with him, that i have the house we 'built' together, and that i will be having our little girl in 4 short months. those are just some of the things i thank God for each day.  I'm starting a new Bible study tonight, with the Celebrate Recovery group from my church. ... I'm looking forward to meeting new people with common needs and values.  In John 6:29, Jesus tells us, "This is the only work God wants from you: Believe in the one he has sent."  This is helpful, knowing that God does not require good works out of me; however, it will help me recover to help others... My mom and I are getting involved in a new ministry at church packing backpacks full of food for needy children at a local elementary school.  This, I look forward to.

Today's picture (sorry if it offends you, but i love it) is from Thanksgiving time, 2007.  We were at Steiny's, and there was no doubt karaoke.  Someone, I don't remember exactly who, caught Joe's act of sweetness on camera.  This was over 4 years ago, and that sweetness he showed in this picture doubled every year.  He always gave me a comforting hand, whether it be on my cheek, shoulder, back, around my waist, or interlocked with my hand... oh, how i miss his loving hands.  if i was ever nervous or having the slightest bit of anxiety, his hand would always comfort me - just putting it on my leg or back instantly brought down my blood pressure... and we would always be holding hands, even if we were just laying on the couch together.