adjustment....

that's really what this is, right? although, probably the worst and longest adjustment I will ever have in my life.  I was so nervous, always, about snowmobiling... but i never thought anything would actually happen.  i am getting hit really hard now, this being the second night at our house.  the easiest way to say it is that I am just sick of this - I want him back so bad... everything was so wonderful with our life. and now, gone. at least i have little Sweet Pea. wow, i haven't cried like this in a while. am i actually realizing what is going on? that he isn't coming home? stunned. i wish i could take advil, tylenol really doesn't do the job. things are happening in the lives of people around me, and i keep wanting to call him or run home and tell him.. well, i'm going to eat some leftover chinese, read the good word, and probably go to bed early tonight.