sweet shades

It is tough to be pregnant and grieving - my heartburn and nighttime bathroom visits are increasing; therefore, making it hard to sleep through the night.  So, I wake up at 1:30, 3:30, 5:30 because of Sweet Pea, but the instant I wake up I think about Joe (because a month ago I would have texted him that I couldn't sleep, and he would say "oh, baby") and remember that he is not here... So it is a double whammy.  I am thankful, though, that I am able to fall back asleep fairly quick after I take care of myself, and I am again so very thankful that I am not having disturbing vivid dreams - I do have some vivid dreams, and Joe is in them, but just in them - like life, not disturbing about his last moments or anything... This I know I have to thank God for- it is something I have been praying about for 3 1/2 weeks.
Jesus tells us in Matthew 6:34:  "So don't worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries.  Today's trouble is enough for today."  I'm working on keeping myself in today (even in this very moment), and not worrying about the next moment, day, year - trying to turn those worries into prayers.

Today's picture ...

Here is my handsome baby at work... When he was able, we would text while he was at work... Usually when I would wake up in the middle of the night and have a hard time going back to sleep - I would text him for support, and occasionally he would take a picture of himself and send it to me for comfort.  I'm glad I have so many of these pictures saved, since I'm so sad I won't ever be getting any new ones.  I'm pretty sure that he was also showing me his new sweet safety glasses... wow, this is hard.  I (we) had truly found love... we would sing Tom Petty's "You Got Lucky" to each other, but change the words from "you got lucky when I found you" to "I got lucky when I found you" ... we would often fight over who was luckier.  I'm pretty sure that posting these daily pictures is helping me, because each day brings a different feeling, depending on what the picture is and what memories it brings... I often laugh through a face full of streaming tears.  I think that if I were to try to stuff my pain and sadness down it would come out 100 times worse in the future - like I would come across a picture of him in a few months and have a complete breakdown (that may still happen, but hopefully with less intensity since I am not avoiding it now).

May you be thankful and blessed by God today.