sleeping?

i'm sleeping a lot lately.  However, I think I might not be sleeping as much as I think during the night - or not fully falling asleep.  like, last night, i went into bed about 11 (late, i know, but it is also hard for me to quit for the day, knowing going to bed is only going to bring another day where he is still not here), i woke up from a text at 12:30 (can't even sleep through my little ding alert), and i think i only woke up once, around 5, fell back asleep, and then got up at 8.  i was dog tired, but i thought, it is 8, i should just get up.  so, i had some breakfast, but couldn't stay awake - went back asleep on the couch until now, 11:30.  i think i might start sleeping in the recliner - i have read that some preggos get their best sleep there.  i have this double thing going against me right now, with being pregnant and grieving, and then throw in the nesting.  my body isn't sure which way to turn, to smile to cry, or to sleep or prepare.

tomorrow will mark 29 weeks, and i will soon be a mom - wow, me, a mom? interesting. exciting. scary. I think my fish Claire would give me good reviews though... : - ) 

June 2010 | Andrea's high school graduation | Winona State Gym

Here we are, waiting for the festivities to begin.  Wesley apparently wasn't prepped for this picture, and I look way to happy - ha, and Joe looks amazing as always.  The way he was when we had Wesley and/or Madi, and sometimes even Andrea (teehee), really amazed me and showed me how great of a dad he would be.  He was the man, took care of the things the man is 'supposed' to take care of, but always in a loving way.  I remember when Wesley slept over in December and he wanted to change his underwear before and after bed... he gave the truth in love, that Wesley would be just fine without changing his underwear again - yes, Wes cried a little, but only for a few seconds, because Joe disciplined with love.  I couldn't wait to parent with him... we talked about that the last week of his life too, about how excited we were to parent together, each giving 100%.  Yes, I know, each giving 100% probably wouldn't have happened 100% of the time, but we were planning on trying!

"May the Lord richly bless you and your children.  May you be blessed by the Lord, who made heaven and earth."  Psalm 115: 15-16