my story as of 12/20/2011

Back in June of 2006, I met this guy named Joe - well, I had known him back in high school (I graduated in 2000 and he in 2002) but we were never friends... We spent the entire summer together, and it was fabulous.  I teach, and so when the summer was over, we were back to living 1.5 hours apart - we soon couldn't handle it any longer, and got an apartment together in the middle of our work locations.  Wonderful years go by and in August of 2010, he proposed.  We planned a June wedding, to be held in the yard at my parent's house, with a gigantic reception in a neat out-of-town "ballroom".  In December, my parents' neighbor and friend passed away from cancer.  She wanted my dad to get first chance at her house, since she knew he would want one of his daughters to live there, and be very close.  Joe and I decided we would love to live right next to my parents.  How perfect?  My dad and Joe were great friends, and my mom and I were excited to share milk and butter.  I was also ecstatic to think of my children being able to run down the hill to gramma and grampa's house.  It was the best situation ever!  In early March, we began moving our things into the house, with the last trip being on March 19th.  Two days later, our plans were forever changed... We lost my dad to suicide.  For obvious reasons, we could no longer live in the neighbor's house. So, at the same time, my mom was looking for a new place to live and so were we.  We also had wedding plans to change.  There is no way we could have our wedding as planned, my dad was going to drive me up the hill in his convertible, and it was going to be magical.  We also were not going to be able to have the big reception we had planned, for it would be just like the funeral all over again, since it would be happening less than 3 months later.  We even considered postponing the wedding, but my mom said there was no chance of that - she needed something to look forward to.  So, our new plans were having our wedding in a town 1.5 hours away, where we had no associated with my dad.  We had a very small intimate ceremony and dinner.  Even as sad as it was, it was wonderful.  My mother and my niece, my Maid of Honor, walked me down the aisle.  Joe and I then went on an in-state honeymoon, and were able to enjoy the time together.  We wanted to try to have a child right away.  We were trying and testing, trying and testing, and finally, on September 10th, the result was positive - actually, the 3 results were positive.  How exciting!!  Bringing us to today, December 20th, and we had our ultrasound yesterday.  This was a major reality shock for me, seeing our child inside of me, realizing the only way they will know how wonderful of a person my dad was is through me and my family - there will never be any precious moments between my child(ren) and my dad, what a daddy's girl like me always dreams of.  Tomorrow will be 9 months since I lost my dad - the biggest milestones of my life have happened since then, so it has been 9 months of mixed emotions - losing my dad, getting married, buying our first house, and getting pregnant with our first child.  I am very excited, but sad at the same time.  I am blessed to have such a wonderful God, husband, mom, sisters, brothers-in-law, nieces/nephew, extended family, and friends.   >peace